wah lao.. this blog has bcome my emo blog alr..
everytime emo, i'll come here blog.
i fear alot, but nowhere to tell anyone abt it
for fear of me scaring them away
with my probs..
so i shall blog here.

today during tkd prac
i totally sucked at sparring.
kicks too low, too slow, too near.
punches = non-existent
hands arms legs and feet are aching EVERYWHERE
even typing this causes my wrist to ache abit.
wad crap.
this made me realise tt i'm not cut out for this.
i wanna improve and this can only be achieved by prac-ing
but everytime i think abt it,
i feel apprehensive
like i dunno wad will happen to me during the trng
damn sad.
:(

dno why
feel damn emo after tkd
din feel like toking to anyone.
lynn went home with mar
so i get to go home alone and listen to emo songs on my mp4.
felt emo up till now
when my parents asked me abt my bruises
i really felt like crying.
why do i suffer so much for nothing?
in fact, i just teared abit just now.
feel better now.
THAT tt dun kill you
makes you stronger and tougher.
HOPE SO.

really wanna have a smugglers outing next week.
but due to circumstances,
it's postponed.
damn sad
now i dun even get to watch spidey.
spidey's grt but no one appreciates him.
WHY?
i'm able to probably bcos i feel for him,
as in i can see his inner turmoil and
the struggle btw wanting to save the world
and seeking his true love.
tt's probably a reason for my emo-ing
tt no one likes him
fan er insult him
"actually spidey not tt nice oso wad"
damn sad.

sometimes i hate myself for being this way:
selfish, arrogant, self-centred and greedy.
but tt's the way i am
i can't change unless someone tells me
how to change for the better
tt's how dense i am too.
stupid.
i expect things to be done my way
things tt i care abt.
but when it's not,
i tend to get irritated and frustrated
and start to emo.
tt's y i hate myself: uncompromising when it mattered.
*closes eyes and sniffs*

it's good to push yourself to the best of your abilities
but never push till you finally can't take it and
fall over the edge, down the cliff.